Daddy's Baby Bumb

Everyone says that a pregnant woman can expect to gain up to 30 lbs during the process. With this can come the adoration of other couples, perhaps someone giving up their seat on the subway, and at the very least some smiles from strangers.

So What do I get for my baby daddy bump? 23 weeks into the pregnancy, Crystal has gained 3 lbs, while I've gained 15+ (the + is the unknown variable that I will gain once I finish this tub of Chunky Monkey ice-cream. I've read that this is extremely common along with an influx of estrogen and male morning sickness. This would explain why I've been crying during Hallmark commercials and ask if a shirt makes my belly look big. Nobody explained to me that this would happen! Here's my theory on how this came to be. Crystal gets a craving late at night for some chocolate chip cookies, but we need milk from down the street. I wasn't feeling cookies, but after going down the street and smelling them in my house, I know must have 10 or 11 of them or someone will get hurt. With some milk to wash it down of course. Repeat this show for a few weeks, and suddenly people are asking which one of you is pregnant. No, It's not me but thanks for offering your subway seat.